#writing theory: dialogue

[inky-duchess]

Writing Theory: Dialogue

One question, I often get asked on this blog concerns dialogue and how to write it. Dialogue is the characters speaking to one another or even to themselves and while it sounds easy, it can be difficult to chose what your character might say or how they might say it or even how it might present on the page/word doc/napkin you're writing it on.

Content: The What and Why

What is your character actually saying? Your character is in a situation (which hopefully you put them in or at least know what is going on, if you do not, it is OK). But in most situations, most characters interact in some way, whether it is verbal or not. What your character says has to link to the situation in some way. Picture yourself on a bus sitting next to a friend and you have just seen a dog out of the window. What would be the response or the natural line of conversation here? Probably 'Oh, that dog is cute.' or 'This journey is taking forever.' etc. It unlikely would be a long monologue about a character's deepest darkest secrets or an admission of murder. It is unlikely, but of course not impossible. But generally, one usually tries to keep the conversation to the present and the now. Allow your character to get their point, or even part of it, across to who they talking about clearly. Remember not only does their companion need to know what is being said, but as do your readers.

Why is this person saying this? There is a deeper level to what anybody says and we all know this. A person will generally keep to neutral phrases or topics in order to keep the peace, distance themselves from whoever they are having the conversation with or a person will be curt and short with somebody they are not getting along with or a person will be polite and formal to somebody who demands the respect. There is a reason behind word choice, a reason behind tone and even topic. You won't have to delve into the intricacies of the 'hello' or 'hey' types of dialogue but say if a character was in a situation they must or do chose their words carefully, then you have to consider the why of it as you write the conversation.

Characteristics of Speech

Characters don't talk like they are reading from an instruction manual. Personality, experience and other factors effect how your character might speak. Next time you are in a group setting, focus on how the people around you speak, whether its the sentence structure, the tone, the volume or the flow of their words. No character speaks the same as another, and nor should they. I go further into this in this post here. Now you have established your character's voice as it pertains to personality, now consider the actual voice of your character. How would you describe your character's voice? Even if you don't include a description of it in your narrative, you should have some idea of how your character speaks. Some people have gravelly voices, high pitched voices, clear, garbled, etc. You can of course, fan cast a voice if you wish. The way your character speak can give away things about them as people. Contractions, slang and colloquial phrases are often used to denote those of working class or poorer factions whether the lack of them, including a larger vocabulary, are often attributed to a wealthier, more educated class. You can say a lot about somebody by the way they speak and is an important tool in the entire show don't tell deal. Speaking of...

Showing, Not Telling when Your Character is Yapping

People don't often come out with what they really want to say. Thankfully or else I would be unemployed and in jail.

Concealment: Like I said before, characters will sometimes chose words or specific tones when speaking or breaking off at certain points to conceal what they are thinking. The dialogue might look something similar to using different approaches either with a character trailing off before the offending phrase (...) or catching themselves (-) or hesitating/considering their words/pausing before speaking. It doesn't often mean a character is being evasive, they may be avoiding harming somebody's feelings.

Class/Social rank: Like I said above, the way somebody speaks can be an indication of their status in society. This is not a bad thing, we have different ways of speaking because we come from different walks of life, we have totally different experiences. Writing the character's voice with this in mind can indicate your character's background.

Nationality/Culture: As in the real world, we don't all speak the same language, it makes us who we are and marks out our culture and place in the world. Phrases, sayings and specific words or even pauses to consider the wording or sentence structure can denote a character from having a different mother tongue or culture than those around them. Your character may sometimes have to tailor what they say to somebody of a different culture or nationality even if they speak the same language. For example, if I'm writing a post here or in my WIP, I often have to steer clear of slang, sentence structure. grammar structure and phrases that non-Irish people are not familiar with.

Emotion: Emotion and dialogue walk hand in hand, a character will not speak without some emotion behind it and most emotions make us want to say something. Anger will make our words sharper, harsher, more abrupt. Happiness will make words flow faster, more positive and sometimes even jumbled. Grief will make one sound disconnected, numb and unable to think straight. The way your characters speak can tell your reader and the rest of the cast able to read their emotional state even if they cannot see their face or your helpful dialogue tags.

Sensibilities and Personality: Word choice and avoidance of certain words can tell somebody a lot about the person speaking. Somebody who avoids cursing or using 'vulgar' language might be considered proper, mannerly and formal. Somebody who does might be judged. Somebody who avoids topics that are considered taboo is somebody who aligns to social norms and expectations while somebody who tends to venture into incendiary topics is likely not and more free willed. These are not bad things but it can tell you a lot about the person speaking or in the way that person responds to somebody's words.

On Dialogue Tags and the Controversy of 'Said'

(nobody would ever fucking say that)

I don't buy into this drama over dialogue tags. Some writers will denounce them, some swear by them and they have been arguing over this as often as we do about the Oxford Comma. The real truth is that it is up to you. It is not a cardinal sin to use them and there is nothing - NOTHING - wrong with using the word said. There are of course some dialogue tags I personally hate and some I love but there is nothing wrong with the word 'said' or 'says'. Here are a few commonly used tags.

A

Accused: Used to pin the blame on somebody.

Added: Usually used when the character is adding to something they or somebody else has said.

Agonized: When a character is distressed over something.

Agreed: Used when a character allows something or agrees with something that is said.

Acknowledged: Used when giving voice to a fact.

Announced: Used for a statement.

Asked: Posing a question

Answered: To address a question.

Addressed: When a character draws attention to something or draws the attention of somebody.

Affirmed: Used when a character is stating an opinion or fact.

Apologized: When a character is saying sorry for something.

Approved: When a character is giving their support to a fact or something somebody has said.

Articulated: When a character expresses a thought/idea.

Asserted: When a character affirms an opinion firmly.

Advertised: Used when a character is drawing attention to something.

B

Babbled: Used when a character is talking excitedly, often nonsensically.

Backtracked: Used when a character is going back on something they have said.

Badgered: Used when a character is nagging another.

Bawled: Used when a character is crying out, usually wildly and very loudly.

Bellowed: When a character is shouting.

Began: When a character begins a sentence or thought.

Bemoaned: When a character complains of something.

Bit: Used when a character is being sharp with something that is irritating them or angering them.

Blamed: Used when a character is assigning blame for something.

Bleated: When a character is complaining or moaning, usually used in a derogatory way.

Blurted: When a character says something without pause or thought.

Boasted: When a character displays self-pride.

Boomed: When a character speaks loudly.

Broadcasted: Used when a character is announcing something, usually loudly.

C

Called: When a character cries out for somebody.

Chanted: When a character speaks in a monotone or often repeating words over and over.

Chattered: When a character speaks rapidly, usually out of nerves or excitement.

Chastised: When a character rebukes another character.

Cheered: Used when a character is excited or pleased about something.

Chimed: When a character adds something to something already said.

Choked: Used when a character is having a difficult time getting the words out.

Chuckled: When a character laughs slightly.

Chortled: When a character laughs slightly and breathlessly.

Coughed: When a character’s breath catches.

Croaked: Used when a character’s voice is strained or dry.

Crowed: When a character boasts loudly about something.

Cried: When a character exclaims or weeps.

Cursed: When a character use swear words or denounces another character.

Cautioned: Used when a character warns somebody.

Complimented: Used when a character is lavishing praise on somebody.

Condemned: When a character denounces something.

Considered: Used when a character is thinking aloud.

Conferred: When a character discusses something with another, usually quiet.

Commented: Used when a character is expressing a thought or opinion.

Complained: Used when a character is annoyed over something.

Criticized: When a character comments negatively on something.

D

Declared: When a character announces something.

Denoted: When a character is indicating something.

Dictated: When a character is insisting on something, usually forcefully.

Drawled: When a character is talking in a low, slow voice.

Droned: When a character is talking on and on, usually derogatory.

E

Elaborated: When a character goes into detail explaining something.

Emitted: Used when a character makes a sound.

Enunciated: Used when a character makes their words clear, often to add emphasis.

Expressed: When a character conveys their thoughts and opinions on something.

F

Fumed: Usually when a character is angry over something.

Fretted: When a character is anxious, usually a reputation of intrusive thoughts.

G

Gasped: When a character inhales suddenly, usually in shock or pain.

Giggled: Used when a character laughing.

Gloated: When a character is boasting over besting another character.

Grinned: When a character is smiling widely when speaking.

Groaned: When a character makes a low sound, usually in pain or discomfort.

Growled: Used when conveying anger.

Grumbled: Used when a character is complaining but in a quiet, low way.

Gulped: When a character swallows.

Gushed: Used when a character is talking excitedly about something they care about.

H

Hissed: Used when a character is angry or irritated.

Howled: Used when a character is making a loud, drawn-out sound noise out of pain and grief.

I

Insisted: When a character speaks or lends their support persistently.

Interjected: When a character adds something into somebody else’s discussion.

Insulted: To speak negatively about another character.

J

Jabbered: Used when a character isn’t making sense but talking rapidly.

Joked: Used when a character is making a jest or fun of something.

L

Lamented: When a character expresses a deep thought or grief over something.

Laughed: Used when a character is laughing.

M

Mewled: When a character’s voice is talking in a feeble voice.

Mentioned: When a character interjects something but doesn’t explain it.

Mocked: Used when a character is teasing, either in humour or spite.

Moaned: Used when a character is complaining, in pain or discomfort.

Mumbled: When a character is speaking in a low, almost unintelligible voice.

Muttered: When a character speaks quietly, usually in an effort to not be overheard.

Murmured: When a character talks quietly, usually not to be overheard or to not gain attention.

N

Noted: When a character brings attention to something.

Nattered: When a character goes on about something almost absent-mindedly, usually when nervous or preoccupied.

O

Observed: When a character is offering their view on something.

Ordered: When a character is giving instruction to another, usually forcefully.

P

Panted: Used when a character is out of breath or panicked.

Praised: When a character is showing positive attention to something or somebody.

Prattled: When a character is talking about something without a line of thought or sometimes reason or attention.

Persisted: When a character keeps at a thought or opinion.

Q

Quavered: When a character’s voice warbles usually out of fear or anxiety or sadness.

Quipped: When a character makes a witty remark.

R

Raged: Used when a character is angry.

Ranted: When a character goes on about something, usually in a monologue expressing their emotion about the subject.

Rambled: Used when a character is talking about something that doesn’t matter or warrant attention.

Relayed: Used when a character is telling another character about something that happened previously.

Remarked: Used when a character speaks about something.

Replied: When a character answers back.

Reprimanded: Used when a character is rebuking another for an action or word.

Responded: When a character replies to something said.

Recited: When a character repeats something from memory.

Repeated: When a character says something again, usually right after they have said it.

Retorted: When a character replies tartly or sharply.

S

Sang: Used when a character is happy or light about something.

Scolded: When somebody is reprimanding a character.

Screamed: Used when a character is scared or angry.

Squalled: When a character is crying out loudly.

Smiled: When somebody speaks when they are smiling, usually positively but can be negative.

Smirked: Used when a character is being smug.

Sneered: When a character is speaking in a derogatory way.

Snarled: Used when a character is being aggressive or angry.

Snivelled: When a character is speaking through a runny nose or tears. It is usually used to denote a character as weak or vulnerable.

Sniffled: When a character is speaking with a runny nose and tears.

Shouted: When a character is saying something loudly or with extreme emotional.

Shrieked: When a character makes a sharp sound, usually from extreme emotion.

Stammered: When a character’s voice becomes halted with pauses, usually an indicator of a speech impediment or nerves or anxiety or fear.

Stated: When a character makes a statement.

Stuttered: When a character speaks with difficulty, often repeating the beginning of words, usually out of fear, anxiety or nerves. But it can also be attributed to a speech impediment.

Swore: When a character curses or uses vulgar words to express their anger.

Scoffed: Used when a character is being derisive about something.

Sighed: When a character exhales out of annoyance, anger, tiredness or boredom.

Screeched: When a character’s voice becomes high-pitched and erratic.

Spat: When a character speaks so forcefully that they almost spit saliva in their effort to get their often emotion driven words out.

Sputtered: Used when a character is unable to get the words out, usually out of disbelief.

Sobbed: When a character is crying so hard that their voice is garbled by their tears and gasps for breath.

Suggested: When a character proposes an idea.

T

Thundered: When a character is talking about something in an angry way, usually loudly.

Told: When your character is relaying something to another.

Tittered: Used when a character is half-laughing, half-trying to stifle it.

Thanked: When a character expresses thanks.

Trumpeted: Used when a character is excitedly announcing something.

U

Uttered: When a character speaks.

Urged: Used when a character is prompting another to take an action.

V

Voiced: When a character expresses their opinion verbally.

Vociferated: When a character argues vehemently.

W

Wailed: When a character makes a sound of grief, pain or discomfort.

Warbled: used when a character’s voice quavers.

Wept: When a character cries when speaking.

Whispered: Used when a character speaks quietly, so not to be overheard.

Whimpered: Used when a character’s voice is feeble and weak, usually in pain or fear

Wheezed: When a character’s voice is strained from lack of breath, such as after a coughing fit.

Whined: When a character complains usually in an irritating way.

Y

Yammered: When a character is talking about something with no line of thought.

Yelped: When a character cries out in shock, pain or discomfort.

Yawned: Used when a character is tired or bored.

Yelled: When a character speaks loudly out of anger or panic.

Yowled: When a character cries out, usually high-pitchedly.

Overusing dialogue tags can sometimes take a reader out of the narrative and make your scenes read more like plays. I generally follow the rule of 'if it not essential' it is out the window. You can simply write dialogue in speech quotes and nobody will stop you.

What's in a Voice?

While we have already gone through the personal sound of your character's voice, what does it actually sound like when they are speaking? When describing the voice of your character while they speak, allows the reader to hear what they can only read and offer a clue how the character is feeling in the moment.

Absent-mindedly: When a voice betrays one’s distraction

Booming: When a voice is loud and carrying.

Breathy: When a voice is peppered with breathes.

Brittle: When a voice betrays a strained mind or fragile sense of mind.

Clear: When a voice is devoid of anything to obstruct or conceal it.

Deep: When a voice is low pitched.

Flat: When a voice is devoid of pitch or emotion.

Gravelly: When a voice is rough, croaking like when one just wakes up.

Guttural: When a voice is rough, coming from the back of the throat.

Harsh: When a voice is unkind and hard.

Husky: When a voice is rough.

Monotonous: When a voice is unvaried in pitch, all in one tone of voice.

Muffled: When a voice is obstructed, such as when the mouth is covered.

Nasally: When a voice sounds like it is coming from the nose, often sharp.

Piping: When a voice is high-pitched, almost sing-song.

Raspy: When a voice is dry and rough sounding.

Rich: When a voice is pleasant sounding to the ear.

Shrill: When a voice is high-pitched.

Silvery: When a voice is clear, soft, and musical.

Soft: When a voice is quiet.

Sonorous: When a voice is deep in sound.

Thin: When a voice is strained, with uneven pitch and tone.

Throaty: When a voice comes from the throat, often rough and croaky.

Tremulous: When a voice is shaking.

Velvety: When a voice is smooth.

Warm: When a voice is comforting, gentle.

Weak: When a voice lacks any strength.

Whispery: When a voice is low, hushed.

Wobbly: When a voice is unsteady.

Avoid the monologues if you can

Nobody can really have a conversation with somebody when that person is rattling off about themselves or their dastardly plans etc. It's not really realistic but in fiction, we kind of want to allow characters to do on a little, to let loose and bare their soul in a speech worthy of Peter Dinklage's best work (Laws of Gods and Men, GoT Season 4). Personally I only give somebody monologuing a few minutes before I interrupt with the good old "that's crazy" or multiple "yeah"s. A character has to be captivated - or captive - to listen to somebody keep talking, talking, talking.

Interaction

Again, your characters are meant to be real people, they are not robots on stage. When people are talking, it isn't perfect. When emotions are high, people will often cut across one another or interrupt one another. When characters are excited or in agreement, they might finish one another's sentences. The dialogue in The Bear, is fantastic for this as the interactions feel real. The characters interrupt one another, talk over one another and finish each other's thoughts. People follow a pattern of talking with people they know, they are less guarded and more prone to speaking their mind if they are comfortable with them or know what to avoid saying. People are more formal when speaking to strangers. People will speak differently to different people, there are things you can only say to your sibling and you wouldn't talk to a classmate you barely know the same way you will speak with a dear friend. The way character's interact can tell the reader a lot about the relationship between the characters.

[verynichewritingadvice]

tips for using a diary framework in your narration

"A story with a framing device that takes the form of in-universe documents written by characters in the story, such as diary entries."

This style of writing was very common during the Victorian Era, mostly a subgenre of letters written between characters in-universe called Epistolary novels

The main caveat of writing with this framework is the unreliability of your narrator. Regular first person is already filtered through your characters perception. Diary entries are not only filtered through a first person POV, but ONLY WHAT THE CHARACTER FINDS WORTH WRITING DOWN. This makes the diary framework a very useful tool for exploring the inner world of characters, but it is hard to make compelling. A lot of the character's development is gonna happen "off-screen."

keep the characters age, gender, and social status in mind when you're writing in their voice

look at your old diary entries, if you have any.

if your diary has an author below the age of like fourteen, look at how you or others wrote at that age. Chances are you have changed a lot.

try to show the character's writing style changing over time

think about the contrast between what the character feels and experiences and what they write

does your narrator manipulate their diary, and how do you let the reader know?

what makes your character's voice unique?

will it contrast with other POVs?

examples: Book of a Thousand Days by Shannon Hale, Annihilation by Jeff Vandermeer, Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes, and Dracula by Bram Stoker

Please shoot me an ask if you want more niche writing advice! 

[susielesbianism]

[lucabyte]

monologue

[nv4dll]

I'm unleashing my evil

[the-sol-eater]

I'm not gonna lie, it doesn't really make a lot of sense to me when people say that Eden being the culprit doesn't make sense from a narrative/story perspective, or that they "don't see her killing someone" I mean to-each-their-own obviously, but like, at the same time...the entire theme of this chapter is that not everything is as it seems. Your preconceived notions of the people around you based on the parts of themself they present to you are bound to be contradicted by an action they take, or a side of themselves that's kept hidden away. This theme was set up in the first episode of Chapter 2 with J's secret, which I elaborate more on in this post, where she is revealed to have a completely different identity that nobody in the cast was aware of, and that identity of hers is met with spectacle and admiration when J's life is really nothing to admire. Another thing that sets up this narrative is also just the secrets motive in general. From a meta standpoint, I think the secrets motive is meant to challenge us the audience and the preconceived notions we have about these characters, what we believe they are capable of doing to others, to themselves, and in general who they are as people. I remember back when the episodes were still being released seeing paragraphs of defenses in comment sections in regards to David, how he wasn't a manipulator because of this that and the third, how he was only trying to help and that he couldn't had been malicious in his intention. And I can attest to that, because I was one of those people lmao. And as we know now, David did end up being the one with the manipulator secret and showing a much more ugly side of himself that many didn't take kindly to, because it contradicted what we knew about who he was, or more accurately, what we wanted to believe he was. And I use David as an example here, because this pattern can be seen with multiple characters throughout the chapter. Arei, who up until this point had been portrayed as nothing more than a mean, merciless bully, had her past and true-feelings spilled out on full display, leading to her allowing herself the chance to become a better person. This is almost the exact opposite of what happened to Nico, who was portrayed as a timid, defenseless individual constantly catching the brunt of Ace's assault, only to show that they are a much more nefarious person than you would first assume, more than willing to tie a wire around Ace's neck if pushed to their boiling point. And the funny thing about these two examples is that even after these sides of their characters were revealed to us, people still allowed their established notions of the characters to overrule it. People theorized that Arei was lying, or just putting on another manipulative show again. People theorized that actually Nico was just trying to take the wire off of Ace's neck, that Ace actually killed himself and was just pinning it on Nico, or that Hu was somehow responsible and that she was manipulating Nico into doing it, or was just straight-up the one who tried to kill Ace. And there's nothing wrong with any of these theories in the moment, even though I'd say with present information that all of them have been de-confirmed. The reason I'm mentioning them is that it goes to show that if you have a certain view of a character that you have become attached to, and something comes along and contradicts that view, your brain searches for ways to justify the previous view you had. Even in the case of Arei and Nico where, to be fair, the previous perspective wasn't entirely wrong, people still feel strange when they see something that contradicts it.

All of this brings us to David, who as I mentioned previously, was continuously defended in the weeks before CH2-11 dropped because people didn't want to believe he was as manipulative as a lot of the fandom made him out to be. And then CH2-11 actually dropped, and possibly the most unsavory side of David was revealed to us in full display. And despite the fact that the legitimacy of how much of David's true colors is being shown is still a big question mark to this day, and the fact that this side of himself gets approximately seventeen minutes of screen-time, a lot of people were incredibly quick, and I mean quick, to immediately dismiss it as bad writing. Instead of actually thinking for a moment about why this writing decision would be made, they wrote off David as a one-dimensional bad guy to the point of even calling him a cartoon villain. It's hard to believe now considering how much effort the community has put into the past year to dissect every aspect of this blueberry-haired motherfucker, but there were people who were genuinely pissed when CH2-11 dropped. "Hey, this is all well and good but uh...I thought this post was about Eden? Why are you bringing up all these other characters?" Well I'm glad you asked, voice that I made up in my head to transition cleanly to my next point. The thing that all three of these characters, Arei Nico and David have in common, is that they all serve to challenge what we know about these characters and introduce a side of them that goes against our current knowledge, and it's up to us as an audience to either accept this as part of who they are as a person, or deny it in favor of the narrative we've grown comfortable with. And I really do think that is an intentional part of the story being told within Chapter 2, especially when characters like Hu also exemplify these tendencies in how she defends David and tries to see the good within him, deflecting away from the uncomfortable truth that he is not all he presents himself to be. All that glitters is not gold, not everyone is as they appear to be. Which brings us, finally, to Eden Tobisa. And how a lot of the arguments against the theory that she is the one who killed Arei greatly confuse me, and why I think a lot of it falls along this line of thinking.

I see quite a few people implying that the idea of Eden being the CH2 culprit is inherently, as a concept, bad writing, how it doesn't fit with her character, and other things along those lines. It's actually very similar arguments that I saw used to deny the idea that David was manipulative. But I do not see this to be the case. In fact, I think out of everyone currently alive in the cast, Eden being the culprit is what would fit the best with the narrative and story that has been established. This chapter, as I've mentioned previously, has challenged our perspectives of these characters and what we know about them, emphasizing that what we see of them might not be the full-picture of who they are as people. So quite frankly, why wouldn't the culprit be the most positive, seemingly hopeful girl in the entire killing game cracking under it's pressure and resorting to murder? An aspect of Eden's character that I think goes overlooked quite often is that, though she is not by any means naive and her optimism is genuine, her positivity can definitely seep into toxic positivity on more than one occasion. Specifically when applying it towards herself.

(x) Teruko: You seem quite chipper this morning, even though you were distraught last night. Eden: ...Yeah, I know. I'm really sorry about yesterday. Eden: I was in a new, scary situation, and I let myself get too upset. But that was a mistake, I'm not going to let myself be weak like that anymore. Eden: I'll do my best to encourage everyone from now on!

(x) Levi: I suppose I could say the same for you, can't I? Today you're just as cheerful as you've ever been. Eden: I'm glad you think so. I'm wearing my brave face, see? Eden: Everyone is probably going to be sad for a while. For their sake, and for mine, I'll put on a happy smile!

(x) Eden: [Sniff] Whit: There, there. Pat pat. Do you want to sit down somewhere else? Eden: ....... Eden: I'm fine! I just... needed a second to deal with it. Eden: I'm super ready to investigate! I'll do whatever I can to help find Arei's killer.

I want you to pay attention to the third scene I linked especially, because I think it re-contextualizes the other two scenes mentioned. I hope this does not need to be spoonfed, but just to be clear: I am not at all saying that Eden's positivity is fake or fabricated, I think her optimism is a very real aspect of her. That being said, despite her believing that the best way to make it through this killing game is to express grief and rely on others and how she does acknowledge the severity of the situation on multiple occasions, she has never really allowed herself to grieve her current situation. She refers to her very reasonable response to the death game as a weakness, and she outright admits to Levi that she is putting on a brave face for herself and the others. And in the third clip, it's not even being hidden from the audience anymore, especially with how the line is voiced. It's like Eden's VA was specifically instructed to sound as if she were forcing a smile. What this all means, to me anyway, is that there is a lot of stress, fear, and sadness bubbling under Eden's skin that she's purposefully keeping hidden, for herself but especially for the others. That doesn't mean she is good at it, mind you, as Eden at the end of the day is still someone who's feelings are practically sewn into her sleeve, but she is trying. And it's clear it is having an impact on her. Couple that with the fact that Eden very clearly wants to escape really fucking badly, if her constant attempts to find a solution to end the killing game are anything to go by. Especially in Chapter 2. (credit to @/venus-is-thinking for pointing this out in their post)

(x) Eden: So uh... I've been spending a lot of time investigating around, looking for a potential exit

(x) Veronika: You know, Eden once thought of an interesting plan to end the killing game. Based on everything we know, it could theoretically work.

(x) Hu: Eden and I have a continuous alibi from 7 PM to 10 PM. It has become a bit of a tradition for the two of us to clean up after dinner together Hu: And after we were done, we talked for quite some time, brainstorming ways to deal with the motive.

Eden has been more obsessed than anyone else over the prospect of ending, dealing with, or escaping the death game. (just as a side note cause it goes outside the scope of this post, this is also why it doesn't make sense when I see people say that Eden doesn't have a motive to kill, because...she does? Fuck if anything she is probably the person who currently wants to escape this death game the most. I understand if that doesn't sound like a satisfying motive to you, but she does have a motive.) Also couple all of this with the constant arguing of the rest of the cast, and her literally witnessing Nico try to kill Ace in front of her eyes, all the while she is trying to put on a positive smile for everyone else and herself. I really do not see why it is so unbelievable that she would break and try to commit murder. And really, I do think it's primarily because of how the fandom as a whole views Eden, which is why I spent a large majority of this post talking about the themes of Chapter 2 and how they interact with how the audience sees the characters. Another theme that has been explored in this chapter is the idea of a Good Person. Specifically, what makes someone a good person, and the desire to become one. And how is this theme introduced into the chapter?

(x) Levi: Perhaps I messed up yesterday. But I want to move on. I want to keep trying to be a 'good person,' like you, Eden.

Through the existence of Eden. With every other character in the DRDT cast, there is at least one attribute about them or action they take, that would reasonably warrant them being disliked, or seen as not the best person. Even other characters serve a similar role in the narrative, like Whit and Hu, have things about them that could result in this opinion. Like Whit's insensitivity and uncaring behavior towards the dead, and Hu using other people to make herself feel useful. But Eden is viewed, both within the story and outside it, as an undeniable good person. There's a reason why you basically never see a genuine Eden hater in a wild because...well, what is there to dislike her for? She's kind, she's caring, she's helpful, and she tries her best for everyone around her. In the midst of a story where the characters are constantly being pushed to the brink and fucking up, Eden has done literally nothing wrong. She has been a victim of circumstance or other people victimizing her. And the one time she is antagonized in the story it's by a character who, up until a few minutes after, we have basically only seen as a mean bully. Eden has done nothing wrong. Eden is the picture-perfect presentation of a good person. But I think by the end of Chapter, as a climax to both of the themes that permeate it's narrative

That will no longer be the truth.

[memento-morri-writes]

whumpril day four: threat - "carrion"

Here it is!! The backstory of how Carrion got his name, in full! I haven't shared any piece of this before, and I'm super fucking proud of this one. I'm very curious to see how people who aren't me or the DM interpret this scene, so please tell me your theories! (@whumpril) pov: Carrion | Reverence wordcount: 2.5k character(s): Carrion Vice (D&D), Orion, Beren (NPCs) canon status: canon, backstory vignette trigger warnings: violence, uncertain character death, being left for dead, discussions of unpleasant ways to die. summary: Having recently been told that there is no way to cure the (presumed fatal) Delirium corruption afflicting him, Reverence's mood sours, with potentially fatal consequences.

Reverence hung back, allowing his horse to slow as the group rode along the lonely mountain path. Barely wide enough for their wagons, and with scraggly underbrush creeping in on the edges, it could hardly be called a road. A few days earlier, when they first came across the path, they’d almost missed it. The signpost had rotten and fallen to the ground, and if not for the map Theodore had bought, they likely would have ridden right past it. 

A part of him wished they had. If they had missed the path, maybe there would still be hope. Maybe his friends wouldn’t be avoiding him. He glanced up, shooting a glare at the small huddle of horses several yards ahead. They quickly looked away. 

It had been like this all day, ever since they left the healer’s home early that morning: Reverence keeping his distance while the others whispered and stared. He didn’t have to be close enough to hear them to know what they were saying. How long before he turns? What if he attacks us? Is it safe to keep him around? The same questions were repeating in his mind, over and over again until they lost all meaning. 

This branch of the Silver Order – Theodore’s branch – had been on the road for months. They had originally set out to investigate reports of a non-Academy mage illegally studying Delirium. They’d found him, and confiscated the Delirium, intending to take it home to be destroyed. But along the way, something had gone wrong. 

Reverence closed his eyes, thinking back to that day. He and a young man named Orion, barely old enough to join the Order, had been tasked with guarding the stone. Orion, having been watching the horses during the Delirium raid, begged Reverence to let him take a peek at it. Eventually Reverence had relented, as long as Orion promised not to touch the crystal. What harm could one glance do?

Quite a lot apparently. As soon as Orion had lifted the lid of the lead-lined chest holding the crystal, Reverence’s vision had blurred, the whole world bathed in dusky purple. He remembered crying out, telling Orion to close the lid, but Orion hadn’t heard a word. Instead, hearing a beastly cry, he’d spun around to find his friend’s body swelling, spines bursting from under his skin. 

He’d stumbled backwards, crying out for help. Reverence had curled in on himself, crying out in pain as his flesh reconstructed itself. The others had come running, weapons drawn, but hesitated, seeing that he wasn’t attacking. 

The transformation had only lasted a few seconds, but it had felt nearly endless to him. Returning to himself, surrounded by frightened Paladins, he knew then that his life was over. No one recovered from Delirium contamination. It hadn’t taken him this time, but it was only a matter of time. 

But the Order hadn’t given up on him. They’d dropped off the crystal and dragged Reverence in front of every cleric in the city. When none of them had been able to help, or even explain what had happened to him, they’d gone further. 

It had been weeks now, and time was almost up. The eccentric healer at the end of this mountain path had been their final hope. There was no one left to try. 

Reverence tried to convince himself that it didn’t matter. That he was lucky to have gotten even a handful of weeks before the corruption took him. But as he watched the other paladins up ahead, murmuring and looking over the shoulders, he wasn’t so sure. Maybe it would have been better to die.

Rage flared in his mind, causing him to clench his fists and grit his teeth. They were luckier than him. They were fine. They would get to move on. In fact, it seemed like most of them already had. 

His muscles tightened and his horse, who had bent her head to take a bite of the underbrush, leapt forwards. Reverence quickly released the pressure on her flanks and murmured an apology. When he looked up, all of the paladins were staring openly.

Hours passed as they trekked through the forest, and Reverence’s mood didn’t improve. By the time they made camp he was fuming. When he stalked over to tie up and unsaddle his horse, she was quickly whisked away by a jumpy squire. It seemed they didn’t even trust him to do his own chores. 

Feeling several pairs of eyes on his back, he walked off and pitched his tent several yards away from the rest, barely within the clearing. He sat inside, back to the entrance, and waited. Eventually the flurry of activity outside quieted down. The others were likely eating, laughing and telling stories around the fire. No. They wouldn’t be laughing. They’d be whispering – about him. 

Shaking his head, he pushed aside the tent flap and stepped outside. As he had predicted, on the opposite end of the clearing, as far away from his tent as possible, was the glow of a fire. In the dimming light, he could see figures moving near it. 

He sighed and turned towards the horses. He’d left his sword strapped to his saddle. 

“Reverence? Where are you going?” A voice called from behind him.

Reverence spun around to see a mountain of a man stepping out of the trees. Ordinarily the sight of his friend Beren would have brought a smile to his face. But not now. He was the Order’s strongest fighter, and the fact that he was loitering near Reverence’s tent made him uneasy.

“Beren.” He nodded curtly. “What are you doing here?”

Beren shuffled his feet awkwardly. “The captain told me to keep an eye on you. So where are you going, Rev?”

The nickname sounded hollow, without the care usually attached, and Reverence scowled. “Just getting my fucking gear. I may be a dead man walking, but I can at least take care of my stuff for the next guy.”

Beren flinched, and something flashed in his eyes, too quick for Reverence to process. “Rev… you can’t seriously think I’m going to let you do that, right?” His voice wavered, but he took a step forward. “Come on, let’s go back to your tent.”

Reverence was simmering with anger now. “And why can’t you let me do my damned job? Afraid I’m gonna kill someone with it?” He took a step towards Beren. “After the Delirium gets its way, I won’t need a sword to kill you. But until then–”

“Hey! Get away from him!” Reverence wheeled around to see Orion standing with his sword in hand. A tray and several bowls lay scattered at his feet. “D-don’t hurt him!” The boy’s voice wavered as he brandished his sword. 

Seeing Orion brought Reverence’s rage to a boil. “You,” he growled. “You’re the one who started this. If you hadn’t asked to see that fucking rock, everything would be fine.”

Orion’s lip quivered. “I-I’m sorry, Rev.” Again, the nickname made Reverence grit his teeth. “Look, let’s just put a stop to this now, alright? Just sit down, and–”

Something inside Reverence snapped. He would not just sit here while they killed him! Without thinking, he lunged forwards, aiming a punch for Orion’s jaw. His vision narrowed, everything aside from the boy in front of him going hazy. But when he arrived the punch missed, Orion’s head gliding by several inches below.

Orion leapt out of the way, seemingly equally surprised by the lack of impact. He stared up at Reverence, eyes wide. Reverence brought his arm back for another blow. As he lashed out, he saw an arm that was not his own. Large and swollen with muscle, the hand tipped in dagger-like claws. 

Suddenly, he understood. Why the first blow had missed, why the world seemed so hazy. He tried to pull back, change the course of the blow, but it was too late. His fist met flesh and Orion crumpled to the ground.

Something barreled into him, knocking him to the ground. He thrashed, trying to get to his feet. He had to see what had happened to Orion. He struggled to his knees, but pain seared as a blade cut into his leg and he fell to the ground. 

“Orion!”

He tried to shove the paladins out of the way, but there were too many of them. For every blow he shrugged off, another landed. He was distantly aware that he was wounded, that he’d taken enough hits to bring most men down, but it didn’t matter. He needed to see Orion. 

A flash of silver as a sword swung towards him, and the world went black. 

Reverence woke to the sound of arguing. 

“With all due respect, Sir, you should have killed him right there.” Was that… Beren?

Theodore’s voice replied. “I told you. I won’t kill one of my own men.”

Reverence lifted his head slightly, and saw Beren and Theodore standing face-to-face a few yards away. Gathered around them were most of the paladins, eyes darting back and forth like pendulums wound too fast.

“Sir, that… thing isn’t Reverence anymore. It would be a kindness to–”

Anger and fear surged through Revenrence’s body and he tried to get to his feet, only to find that he couldn’t move. Beren broke off at the sound and Reverence looked down and saw himself wrapped nearly from head to toe in chains.

The paladins all turned to face him, looking at him with a mixture of fear and revulsion. He noticed now that several appeared to have been wounded in the fight, and his stomach twisted.

“Orion, is he–”

Beren stormed over and leaned down, spit flying as he said, “Keep your name out of his mouth. After what you did–”

“That’s enough, Beren.” Theodore pushed him aside and crouched down in front of Reverence. “Orion is none of your concern anymore, Reverence.” 

A lump was building in the back of his throat. “Please, let me see him.”

Theodore shook his head. “I’m afraid that’s not possible.”

Beren grabbed Theodore’s arm. “Sir, you’ll only make things worse. Reverence is gone. Or he will be soon enough.”

“I told you – I will not kill one of my men.” He turned to another paladin standing out of Reverence’s view. “Hitch one of the carts and put him in there.”

“You can’t seriously mean to bring him with us? When he transforms again – and he will – we’ll all be in danger.”

Theodore raised a hand. “I do not intend to bring him with us.”

“Then what do you plan to do with him? You say you’re not bringing him with us, but you refuse to kill him. What else is there to do?”

Theodore glanced at Reverence, holding his gaze for a moment before turning back to Beren. “There was a ledge partway down the ravine a little ways down the road. We’ll leave him there.”

Beren stepped back, eyes wide. “You’re going to just abandon him?” He looked appalled at the notion. 

“It’s the best thing I can think of. He won’t be able to hurt anyone from there.”

Beren looked like he wanted to say more, but Theodore turned away, calling for uninjured men to haul Reverence to the wagon. They approached warily, torn between not wanting to take their eyes off of him and being unable to look him in the face.

When they began to lift him, the chains cut into his wounds, sending bolts of pain shooting through his body. He cried out, and the paladins hesitated. 

“Come on, do it quickly and get it over with.” Theodore’s voice was sharp as he ordered them on.

Slowly, awkwardly, the paladins carried Reverence over to the waiting cart and lifted him inside. He was breathing heavily, and his head was fuzzy from the pain. He paid little attention to the movement around him as the paladins saddled their horses. 

When the cart finally began to move, every bump in the road was painful. He gritted his teeth and bit down on his tongue until he tasted blood to keep from crying out. In the corner of his vision he saw Theodore riding alongside the cart, watching him. His face was grim.

After several agonizing minutes, the cart rolled to a stop and the paladins dismounted. Several of them climbed up on the wagon, surrounding Reverence. He braced himself for the pain as they lifted him and carried him to the edge of a cliff. They were preparing to lower him over the edge when Theodore spoke.

“Stop.” Hope flared in Reverence’s chest, his heart beating faster. Maybe Theodore had changed his mind. It wasn’t too late. But the captain’s next words shattered his hope. “Remove a few of the chains. The whole bundle is too heavy for our ropes, and we want to be sure we still have some in case we need it on the way home.”

Hurriedly, the paladins obeyed, unwrapping a few lengths of chain from around his body. 

“Take off one more. He’s injured enough now that he shouldn’t pose a threat in this form, and if – when – he transforms, he’ll grow enough that they’ll be a serious problem for him.”

Aside from Theodore’s commands, no one spoke. It was late now, and completely dark aside from the moon, whose waxing crescent was just barely visibly over the trees. By tomorrow it would be the new moon. 

The moment of peace was broken all too soon by Theodore’s curt, “Lower him.” The paladins lifted Reverence and lowered him inch by inch over the edge of the ravine. His legs had been freed just enough that he was able to use them to push away from the rocks, preventing even more injuries. 

He went down, 10 feet, then 20. He estimated he was 30 or 40 feet down the side of the cliff when he finally touched the ground. The paladins continued to lower him until he was able to half-slide, half-sit to the ground. 

Above him, the paladins began to pull the rope back up as Reverence looked around his new grave. The rocky outcropping they had placed him on was tiny, no more than 6 feet wide and 10 feet long. Aside from a few bits of moss, it was completely barren. It certainly felt like a fitting place to die. And he was certain to die here. The road was so rarely traveled that chances are he would starve or die of thirst before someone passed by. And even if they did, he was so far down that they wouldn’t be able to see him. 

Beren’s distant voice pulled him back to the present. He glanced up to see two figures looking down on him, silhouetted by the faint moonlight. “Sir… are you certain you want to do this? Death from thirst or starvation is not a quick one. Wouldn’t you rather be certain that he di–”

“Enough, Beren. What’s done is done. Try your best to put Reverence out of your mind. Before long, he’ll be nothing but carrion.”

The figures disappeared from view, one after another, and before long the horses’ footsteps and the sound of the wagon’s wheels faded into the distance. Reverence was alone.

[swiiivet-screamathon]

ok well i saw a vid who made two claims that i disagreed so badly w that I wanted to make a comment on it which i basically never do, I hate invading other ppls spaces w/o permission w/o some *very* good reasons to

fate recognized that I was about to do something out of character and I accidentally refreshed the page and removed like 45 min worth of evidence to refute the person, whoops!

Anyways, in trying to refute one of those claims I accidentally realized something and I didn't wanna lose that theory forever--

And that's a question regarding the canonicity of Smilk's & Pv's costume bond story.

I always assumed that it was just non-canon, even after finding Sage in Beast-Yeast so we know the skin itself at least is canon-- Pv wasn't even baked yet at Sage's time and last I checked we didn't see Twizzly show up in the Spire for some time travel shenanigans. But I realized somethin as I'd typed out those lost words: How likely do we think it is that the bond is a theatrical story told by Smilk about (a part of) his life?

(genuine question not rhetorical, under the cut just explains my thoughtprocess but I don't think I've actually proven anything)

If there's 2 things we know about Smilk is that he does a lot of projecting onto Pv & the continued insistence that they're two sides of the same coin. And then at the end where Pv reveals himself Smilk declares him a 'traitor', 'liar' & that he's been 'tricked'-- But regardless of what he thinks, they're still the same as before, they're both the one coin. I think those are pretty descent grounds to make the claim that Smilk could have the mindset necessary to view Pv as Smilk himself-- to a limited extent, ofc.

So, if Smilk told the story of how he fell from Knowledge and became a Beast, in his preferred medium of puppetry, ie a visual medium, who or what might he use to represent the first time Deceit was introduced to him?

-

It could perhaps be a cloaked figure hidden in the shadows who comes down from a Truth that even the Sage is unaware of, whom brings forth an ominous red sky that scatters all of his followers leaving him alone to fend for himself-- Whom Sage seems to recognize the feelings of before he even knows who he's looking at or either spoken a single word. The figure's first words are a command, to stop speaking the truth, the figure revealed as an entity that both is him but also isn't, Truth and Deceit are indeed separate, but they're both Knowledge, they're both a part of him, and now Deceit wants to talk.

As they speak they both always know what the other is thinking, each word of dialogue is a recognition. The Sage knows who the Recluse is the moment he sees his face and expresses a subtle interest in the Peak, where the Recluse immediately recognizes for what it's worth and tells him to quit pretending, where Sage also recognizes exactly why the Recluse is up there in the first place, and then Recluse knows exactly what response the Sage wishes to hear and instead of giving the response he knows the Sage wants he directs the conversation to explain how he regrets looking for the truth and for the first time indicates that he doesn't know something when he asks the Sage why he doesn't also feel the same as him. The Sage explains why along with an invitation to which the Recluse never answers and leaves, however the Sage knew the answer anyway.

-

As the bearer of Knowledge of course he must be aware of deceit, to know all is to also know of deceit, so naturally he tries to accept it with open arms-- To be wilfully ignorant of anything, even if it's the very act of telling the untruth, is to reject Knowledge; how could he ever do such a thing? However, as hard as he could try, given every method in the book he knew, trying his very best given the cards he's been dealt with up to this point, it didn't change the fact that his other half did not want to live the same life as he did, not in that way at least. And if they ever wanted to become whole one needed to change for the other.

...

ehem,

became a lil pretentious there for a sec whoops lol

Tldr the Costume Bond is the Souljam of Knowledge made manifest into a story, one that's told through one side of its coin's view, about its very first step into the descent that'd eventually split it in half. Truth being represented by himself ofc, who else would be better suited than the one who it was made for? And Deceit represented by the cookie who both is and isn't him, who had betrayed him, reflecting some pretty obvious inner turmoils that bluey got inside his brain lol. I think at least is decently likely.

[the--firevenus]

"Sometimes I feel like you're a completely different person... As if you're reborn... But then I thought to myself, no that can't be right... Cuz your eyes still shine like a star under the night sky, you still sang a song from language I don't know, you still hold my hands despite you now no longer know why.... You may be different, but you are still... My friend, Merlin."

Hogan to Merlin, probably

[lilacthebooklover]

fallen hero headcanons & theorising my beloved

[yudzukii]

Touch

?'s are bridges

Over rivers of uncertainty

Where pulses encounter

Two hearts leaning towards

Two hearts forming chords

Lost and lonely soloists

play heartstrings monophonic

Desperate instrumentalists

snap the heartstrings in two

The name of this bridge is:

"tell me who are you?"

What's the sound of your heart?

[verynichewritingadvice]

Non-Traditional/Experimental POVs 

Unique POVs for writers

-1st person collective

This is using the perspective of a group of people.

Instead of coming from the perspective of one character, the perspective is of two or more characters.

This is a perspective best used for describing shared experiences across the group, for example; a story about all the girls in a small town who are all affected by a serial killer.

A famous example of this narration would the short horror story I was forced to read in english class  “A Rose for Emily”.

The story uses the perspective of a small post-antebellum southern town to describe the town’s accumulated knowledge surrounding the main character: Emily.

As a gothic horror story, this is very much utilized for the creepy atmosphere in a way that is unique to this POV. 

After all, the lack of individuality and the rather detached view can unnerve us.

We are not used to stories using “we” and “our” after all, and the ambiguity of how many people are telling this story is a mystery.

1st Person collective allows stories to be told from the perspective of the setting/a group (the attitudes of your setting’s residents or the universal experiences of a group).  Of course, the 1st person collective doesn’t have to be creepy. After all, the  perspective implies that multiple people are telling the story together. This could highlight the closeness of their bond; for example, two brothers telling a story about how they rescued a bunny together. This is a great way to weave a relationship in the fabric of the narrative (as long as they’re having the same experiences) or to weave the shared experiences of a group as a constant. 

Example: “Unlike the others, we do not fear her. We have traveled to her house before and she has always been kind to us, giving us herbs for Mother and little treats and toys. She didn’t care who our father is, she doesn't care that little horns peek out of our white hair, that our eyes gleam with an inhuman amber, she treated us as children, not little girl-devils. We thought her kindness strange, we did not necessarily trust her, even at such a young age we were suspicious of everyone, but we eagerly traveled to get her say. Now it is empty. We returned seven times hence, but her cottage was abandoned and we never saw her again. It was only later when we realized she was hanged.”

Source:Me making stuff up

-1st person witness

This is where the narrator/POV isn’t necessarily the protagonist/main character. Meaning, they simply witness the main character do their thing. Often, it can read as 3rd person limited, as it will feature a lot of X does this and X does that. The Great Gatsby, another book that I was forced to read in English class, is an example of this. Nick, the narrator, is secondary to Gatsby. His main function is an observer of his downfall and exploits. This is very prevalent with Lemony Snicket type narrators; the story isn’t about them, they are just the framework with which the story is conveyed. That does not mean the narrator should be an empty vessel to convey the story; they can still have personality and their own secondary story. Perhaps they are even an unreliable narrator who misleads the reader; as long as the story isn’t about them and their potential unreliability remains irrelevant to the plot, they are still a witness. 

Example: I watched as resolve hardened in Troy’s eyes. In that moment I already knew what he would do before he did it, but I still screamed when he brought the blade down upon his father’s throat. There was a sick gurgle as the old man drowned. Troy came to me then, released me from my bounds. Even as he comforted and soothed me; I already knew this was a choice he couldn’t take back. 

Source: Me making stuff up

-1st person referral

This is where the first person narrator is telling a story to a distinct “you”. Both the narrator and the person who is being told the story are distinct characters. Often times, the story is about them and their relationship; or perhaps it conveys the impact the “you” character has on the protagonist. 

For example, in one of my WIPs, the main character is writing first person diary entries during his captivity, and these entries are addressed to his sister. Only his sister is unable to read them and over time as the main character matures and loses hope, he loses his filter. The way he addresses his sister at any given moment is a microcosm of his relationship to her. It is perpetually one-sided, and the way he feels about her constantly changes. When he is freed and sees his sister again at last, the style changes. 

This is a very good way to intertwine a relationship to the narrative, it makes the entire story feel like an ode to the “you” character. 

Example: You need to be alive, Skrnol. Dear Truyde, be alive. I want Ambruz to suffer. I want you to avenge me. I want you to stab her through the gut and shift her intensities around like you did with the hog. I want you to bring the Kilromev’s dragon to her and have her be eaten alive. Truyde has your back, alright? I know it. I know it. You’ll kill her. 

Source: part of the second page of the third chapter of Memoirs of the Brother Sovereignty by me (very rough title, very rough draft, I only got 20,000 or so words, so by the time it’s complete this passage will be altered beyond recognition OwO and non of these numbers will be applicable) 

-1st person omniscient

You’ve heard about 3rd person omniscient , how about 1st person omniscient? The main character knows everything about everyone’s thoughts; feelings and internal complexities typically conveyed by 3rd person omniscient.  Essentially, this character can see the perspective of every other character. This works for both mind reader characters who drive the plot forward or witness narrators as discussed earlier. Edward's POV from Midnight Sun is almost example of this...if it weren't for Bella.

- 1st/2nd person instructional

The thoughts or feelings of the narrator  being told through orders. The character themself, or the narrator, is giving orders to the character. 

Most of the time, it omits the pronouns like “you” or “I” to make it orders, with only the possessives like “my” or “your” marking it as first/second person.  By necessity it is in present or future tense.

The only example I can think of is this really really good fanfiction I read centering around Bucky Barnes.  

[Marvel Rant starts]

He is a marvel character whose whole deal is being kidnapped and brainwashed into an obedient killing machine that Captain America goes and rescues . His story is his slow slide into losing his humanity. At first, the narrative is told in a present tense in the third person, albeit with Bucky’s internal monologue sprinkled throughout. As HYDRA slowly unravels him with old-fashioned torture and thankfully fictional sci-fi mind control/memory wiping devices, the narration becomes increasingly more internal and first person (and simultaneously dehumanizied) as Bucky retreats more into himself. Gradually Bucky’s narration becomes more dehumanized, with him using epihets for himself rather then “my hands” or “my face” morphs into the “body’s face” but you still get the occasional “I”. Bucky is still in there, and refuses to comply with HYDRA. Then they take him to get his mind wiped for the fourteenth time. There’s a timeskip. Then, the orders come in. At this point in the narrative, the reader has been primed to see these orders as the directions of the evil HYDRA overseers….until the reader realizes that these are Bucky’s thoughts. It’s horrifying. 

[Marvel Rant ends]

This shows how the instructive person can be used to explore the physiological state of your characters. It can convey character who is tightly controlled, very disciplined, doing a routine, or any number of things.

This can be very hard but very rewarding to write. 

Example: Make the cake. Mix the batter. Add the sugar. Crack the egg.  Put it in the oven. Look over and watch as the masterpiece came to fruition. Take it out, and serve it to my family. Mallory giggled and squealed with excitement. So put candles on the strawberry icing. Tell her “Happy birthday, sweetheart” in a language younger than you are and kiss her forehead. Prepare for my daughter to leave me in her old age, like I have a thousand times before. Prepare to watch her die. The candles are lit, and blown out. Just as time will blow her out. Stay here and smile with her. She does not know about my immortality yet. Love her, as she loves me.

Source: I made it up just now

-Future tense

This is an incredibly uncommon tense, but it’s fairly self explanatory. English doesn’t have a codified future tense, so we rely on particules like “will” which are often repetitive. As well as the nature of the future…we don’t act as of we know what’ll happen in the future in our speech, and that will bleed over into our literature. Essentially, the narrative in future will inherently be a prediction and that can be tricky to put to paper. 

Example The telephonist will ask what about and cut off my reply then come back and say hold on and I’ll hold on but what to, then I’ll have to repeat what about anyway when I’ll get through to the wrong man, creating a false opposition as to the rightness of the right one and a false impression of relief when I finally get to him.

Source: Amalgamemnon by Christine Brooke-Rose

Please shoot me an ask if you want more niche writing advice! 

[artsyjesseblue]

Lotor in a Komar Robeast - a Speculative Meta

Listen, I said I wasn’t going to write any more VLD metas, but this one is borderline fanfic, so I have an excuse. My theory is a bit stretched, like a thin rubber band ready to snap, but hey, it’s always fun to theorize. I’m just throwing it out here for funsies.

So, first off, what are the easiest and fastest ways to change the course of an already animated story?

— Static images are easy to alter - Lotor’s cOrpSe comes to mind. Easy to draw a bunch of purple spaghetti over his body.

— If there are changes in the script, calling voice actors back to record new dialogue is also cheaper (and faster) than applying major changes to the animation itself (re-recording dialogue is called ADR and it’s used in the industry on a regular basis).

With that in mind, here’s where I’m applying my theory:

At the end of Knights of Light Part II, Allura remains unconscious, while all the other Paladins wake up from the entity-assisted trip to Honerva’s mind:

From here on, I (like many others before me) hypothesize that she’d continue her metaphysical journey and finally meet Lotor — a natural consequence of the fact that he (his subconscious more exactly) enticed Allura to follow him in the Clear Day episode (“Follow me”? And then we never saw him again? Hello? Anyone there?).

As seen in the “Genesis” episode in S8, Lotor is boiling in his own rage — a rage of galactic proportions, magnified by the rift quintessence. Similar to how she woke the Old Paladins up from the darkness inside Honerva’s mind, Allura would now have a chance to awaken Lotor’s consciousness.

The difference between Lotor and Alfor et al. is that Lotor also retains his physical body — and I posit it would not look as horrid as published in canon. After simmering in the quintessence field among entities, it would make more sense story-wise for Lotor to resemble his parents’ transfiguration. A vampire-like appearance. The flecks of purple light emanating from him in the (supposed) coRpSe scene suggest that as well (Remember Zarkon and Honerva’s eyes, effusing motes of eerie purple light after coming back from the rift?).

Here’s where I’m deviating from the traditional theories:

The outcome of Lotor still retaining a viable body would be that Allura would completely wake him up from his vampire state: mind and body.

In other words, Allura would revive him remotely, via the entity connection. She wouldn’t need to storm the pyramid. Or, to quote Allura herself in the very last episode of S8, she’d “change the quintessence within [his] vessel/body from a destructive force into a life-giving force” (note that in canon she applied this technique to Honerva, while they were in the Connected Consciousness Plane, so… also remotely). As per Allura’s own recount, this was something that Lotor helped her learn.

This would bring us to the next point, as we see it in canon:

At the beginning of S8E12 “The Zenith”, Merla unexpectedly comes to the Paladins’ aid, parrying a Komar robeast’s strike against Voltron:

Pidge exclaims: “It’s the Altean!”

“Why is she helping us?” Lance asks.

Merla pleads with the Paladins. “Please, do not harm them! They were misguided, much like I was. We all were.”

We never actually see Pidge, Lance or Merla talking, we only hear their voices while the robots carry on with the battle.

This sneaky little snippet of dialogue is where I think stuff might have been altered.

Why?

Because Merla freaking died in the previous episode. Honerva blasted Merla’s mecha to fine cosmic dust, and we witnessed that in a mighty well animated scene, for that matter.

So. Who might have actually piloted that Komar robeast?

Well…

How about… Lotor? What if Lotor’s “do not harm them” was swapped with Merla’s voice?

Freshly awoken from his mega mental breakdown, but still refusing to accept Honerva as his mother — thus putting up a big fight against her (and consequently pushing Honerva to such batshit insanity where she’d decide to search for a child-Lotor in another reality), Lotor would eventually manage to escape the pyramid aboard a Komar mecha. Abandoning Sincline in this case would also serve as a symbolic gesture of departing his past life and actions, and joining the Coalition for good. (Also, in Allura’s vision in “Clear Day”, the Komar robot had a bit of a sacrificial symbolic role, so there’s that as well).

Inserting Lotor here would be an effective action sequence, with a bigger story impact than Merla’s — and it would flow nicely, as he’d arrive in the nick of time to help the Paladins. Not to mention, it would save a lot of time and budget, by skipping that extra episode about storming the pyramid.

Look, I love the ‘storming the pyramid’ idea and all the art that’s been done so far with it. I’d love to see more! I wrote a fanfic around it, too. But what if there was a more streamlined approach?

Also… Also… This action flow would explain the unprofessionally chopped frame (rip Hunk, we only see your shoulder) that follows immediately after the Merla-helps-Voltron scene. (Oh, how about Lance’s “Why is she helping us?” rolling right during this frame? We don’t even see Lance’s mouth - how convenient!)

In the unaltered version of this split screen (there must be an uncropped version, because otherwise… where’s Hunk?), I posit there wouldn’t be any Merla; instead, we’d see the newly-arrived Lotor, the Paladins, and the two remaining Altean warriors. And the convo would flow something like this:

Pidge: “It’s Lotor!”

Lance: “Why is he helping us?” (Or perhaps he would say something else completely? We can’t see his mouth; I guess it was easier than re-animating his lips to the new dialogue?)

Lotor: “Please, do not harm them!” [Optional: “They were misguided — much like I was. We all were.” — this would tie in with what Allura said about him in the Connected Consciousness scene: “Lotor may have been misguided, but ultimately he wanted to preserve life.”]

Scrolling further into S8E12, there are two almost identical semi-static scenes (an Altean character is animated briefly), separated by about 5 minutes (min 12:08, then min 17:00). The background dissimilarity is what triggers my suspicions. Remember I said static images are easy to alter? Spot the differences between these two pics:

Image 1 - minute 12:08:

Image 2 - minute 17:00:

In the second shot Matt and N-7 are gone, but more importantly… the Balmeran alien on the right has been replaced by Merla, and her Komar mecha looms in the background. See how easy it is to switch characters in static scenes? It’s canon. Boom. Proof right here.

What if… that character was actually Lotor? If he was supposed to be in that mecha instead of Merla, this would be a great opportunity for him to join forces with his beloved Alteans, and… and… express his own magical powers! (Oh, magical Altean Lotor? We’ve been waiting for this since Oriande, haven’t we? Here we go!)

Not to mention the super-symbolic gesture he’d make, of giving up his own quintessence — after syphoning it from other Alteans in the past.

Ultimately though, we know that the Balmerans & the Coalition’s efforts fail, as they’re unable to contain the rift. Their reality collapses. Meanwhile, Voltron-Atlas misses their entry point to the next reality. They’re all defeated. Honerva reaches her target reality. There, she meets cute little Lotor, gets rejected (again!) by him, and looses her shit completely.

Then, out of thin air, Voltron-Atlas reappears. May I ask how? Because damn sure, canon never explained it.

While my imagination is exhausted here, I have a couple of options, sourced from a previous meta of my own, as well as @violethowler ’s meta. In either case, the idea is that a supernatural being from beyond realities must have helped them, perhaps akin to the Sphinx in the VLD comics — maybe a Lion Goddess (foreshadowed in S1)? Perhaps they must pass some tests? The riddle of the Sphinx? Perhaps their experience in S7, “The Journey Within” was the Goddess’ test, and they already passed it? Unity, friendship, hope… All that good stuff.

And here, in the Nowhere Land beyond realities, I speculate that Lotor reunites with the Voltron-Atlas team. A seven-unit team (as hinted through Kolivan’s interview in “Day Forty-Seven”). According to a previous analysis of mine, there are animation glitches that hint at Lotor being present in the final scenes in the Connected Consciousness.

Like I said, this is a highly speculative piece. More fuel for fanfiction though.

One thing I’d like to make clear as I close my analysis. When I talk about altering an already animated story, I’m referring to executive meddling, imposed upon the talented crew that poured all their love into this show: the EPs, the writers, the animators. You know, the whole “toys for boys” meddling issue. Imo, the show runners deserved better, just like this story. I’m simply speculating on what could have been.

[manic-pixie-aquarius]

Mike's faith in Will being alive circa season 1

Since s5 is supposed to go full circle back to s1/2 I neeeed there to be an acknowledgment towards the fact that Mike was the only one (aside from the Byers -- initially just Joyce) who had faith in Will being alive. Mike and Joyce's love for Will knows no bounds. Of course this doesnt mean that Jonathan and the other boys don't love Will, of course they do. But Joyce and Mike were so stubborn about the fact that Will was still alive and out there somewhere. What Joyce has for Will is a mother's intuition, but Mike also has this like, 6th sense when it comes to Will being endangered, he notices when Will isn't doing well and always checks up on him (movie theater scene in s3).

Since we're fairly certain that the first episode of s5 is "The Vanishing of Holly Wheeler" then what if Holly goes missing and Mike obviously feels like it's his responsibility as her older sibling to go search for her, and Will also volunteers for this mission which leads Mike to being like 'hell no i'm not letting you put yourself in danger again' and Will is like "Well, you helped look for me when everyone else thought I was dead, you were the only one who believed I was still alive. You saved my life. So now I'm gonna repay the favor" and Mike getting flustered like "Well it wasn't just me" (cause it was him + Byers + El who all really had faith). Mike cant argue with Will's point so he decides that it's okay to bring Will along on this mission and this is actually okay with him because he'll be right in Will's vicinity in case anything bad happens (since lets be honest Will has the biggest target on his back especially since he left the last season supernaturally unharmed, I cant speak for emotionally...he was definitely emotionally harmed)

Still trying to figure out the fact that apparently Byler + Robin are a team this season, like obv there are lgbtq implications there but having Robin third wheel is kinda craaazyy . Maybe they run into Vickie?

[n4rval]

FUN VALUE 62: The Eccentric Genius

Isn't it odd how firsts are seconds? As in, should we consider the order of exposure by FUN value or follower number? Though I suppose goners are not meant to be linear at all. This is why all of the Followers reiterate that central piece of the story, yet, each of them offer an unique perspective that helps us piece together not only Dr. W.D. Gaster's current condition, but who he is as a character.

No, there is no typical way to look at a character who defies the very notion of a written script. To be atypical among the already strange, to fit right in yet feel so obviously alien, the sole lump of hard coal among shiny gems.

It makes sense why ASGORE took so long to hire a new Royal Scientist.

After all, the old one... Dr. Gaster. What an act to follow!

They say he created the CORE.

Coal that burns the most effectively and brings light to all around him, in more ways than one. Impossible only until someone steps forward and makes it possible, to pursue the most absurd of ideas and be stared at with either unease or awe, to make it an act to follow.

From the occasional inconvenient property damage, the unecessarily bulky gadget that looks like it came straight out of a cartoon ...

... to the grand opening speech nobody got a single word of but applauded for the flashy lights anyway.

However, his life... Was cut short.

One day, he fell into his creation, and...

Will Alphys end up the same way?

This bit can be particularly misleading at first glance, alluding to the idea of an accident or, possibly, a suicide of sorts. We already know how this bit played out, however, the mention of either instance is purposeful in a way the ideas complement each other.

To be special is to be strange, and loneliness is often the price of brilliance. It can be difficult to escape feelings of alienation when people seem to get along so naturally without having to make a conscious effort to understand and be understood. This parallel with Alphys isn't only due to their shared position, but the taxing demand for excellence that comes with it in exchange for belonging.

It wouldn't be a absurd to speculate that, possibly, Alphys would one day have a manic episode that would both be her greatest stunt and her last breath in this earth. Ah, but this is where they deviate, isn't it?

Beloved Dr. Wacky Dingus, too in love with life to leave it, yet never satisfied not to risk it - who continues to offer mystery and wonder, once through light, now through dark.

[spark-hearts2]

TADC BUBBLE THEORIES!? I HAVE TADC BUBBLE THEORIES! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE OF THE ‘TISMS (tell me all about it right now)

I made a post about it! Linked here

But, to expand more on my thoughts, I honestly wonder if Bubble's bits are genuinely bits. As in, Bubble interrupts Caine with something that implies that the adventure is going to suck ass. Which, is obviously funny to us, the audience. But, considering these lines in universe, this is very self aware. Being self aware is necessary for good comedy, but what does it mean for Bubble of all creatures to be this way?

Bubble seems to be oddly dependent on Caine. He spawns out of Caine's hat, only seen around with Caine, only interacts with Caine, and Caine pops him when the bit is over. But at the same time his dialog doesn't make him sound like a sock puppet that Caine uses to bounce jokes off of. It's possible that I'm wrong and Caine purposely makes jokes at his adventure's expense, but I doubt it.

So Bubble is his own guy but for some reason he has been tied to Caine. Why? I have no idea. But I hope to god (Gooseworx) that Caine and Bubble's situation is explained further than funny guy and funny guy.

Gooseworx did say that Bubble only talks to Caine in the show, but what if that's because Bubble will become Abel, and therefor is no longer Bubble! Ohhh I've connected the dots. I've connected them.